You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
