I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
