Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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