it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
