He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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