If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
