You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
