Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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