He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
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