If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
