So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
