I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
