Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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