I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
