THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize