I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
