apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
