1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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