a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
