If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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