I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
