she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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