There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize