so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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