She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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