She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just high enough for therapy.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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