your thong is hanging out like whoa
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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