Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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