I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
