In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I am one with the molecules
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize