Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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