My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
