I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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