Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
