no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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