And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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