I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I believe in your delicious
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
