but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
