Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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