If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
