Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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