awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
