Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
