You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
They have beer where we have blood.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
