I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize