we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
ttyl tear gas
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
