Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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