I just threw up on my dentist
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
