Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
