I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
