Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
3pm strippers are depressing
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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