Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
