The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
