So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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