problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
