Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
