oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
