Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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