I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you will always have a special place in my vag
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
