the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
