So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
