Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
there's paper in my vomit.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
