Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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