tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
