i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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