dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
