yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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