I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
