They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I look better un-naked...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
