The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
3pm strippers are depressing
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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